About

THE LOOSE CANON – A HISTORY OF HEAPING HELPING PROPORTIONS

The origins of The Loose Canon can be traced back to 2005 when the Flying Spaghetti Monster was first revealed by the Prophet Bobby Henderson. The revelations of Bobby struck a chord with his followers, eager to spread the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The foundation of The Loose Canon was developed through a call to write the scriptures by an organisation of forum members known as the Wise Council of the Olive Garden. The Wise Council was responsible for reading and canonising works which were deemed ‘canonical’ and compiling them into the main body of The Loose Canon.

The Wise Council was primarily the work of three dedicated forum members: Fusion Tortellini, Aunty Dee Dee and Solipsy. Solipsy’s was the main driver and her enthusiasm for The Canon was an infectious force that turned forum members into scripture writers. Her humour and joy were as amazing as the scriptures being turned out. Not only did she encourage forum members to write, she gave valuable feedback to all that put ‘pen to pasta’. Forum members were writing work that not only struck a serious blow to intelligent design but had readers doubled-up with laughter as well.

As the world was finally discovering the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Bobby Henderson scored a book deal; The Flying Spaghetti Monster was going into print, Woot!

The timing of the Loose Canon coincided with the writing of Bobby’s book, so the priority at that time was The Gospel. This led to some disagreement in the ranks and before we knew it, the works of The Canon and the First Council of The Olive Garden were abandoned. For those of us that spent hours writing his holy word, there was a great sadness. Despite much discussion about its revival, The Canon writings simply aged and got lost in a series of Old Threads.

Some traces of The Canon remained, however, and when interested newbies expressed a desire to become revivers of The Loose Canon, there was a collective gasp of amazement. The remaining participants of the First Council of The Olive Garden provided valuable clues to those that wished to revitalize The Canon. When Platypus Enthusiast formed The Second Council of The Olive Garden with Edd, DaveL and Qwertyuiopasd, a new momentum was born.

The completion of The Loose Canon (Version 1) has been 5 years in the making. It’s word now is at least as poignant and punchy as its initial infectious beginnings. While it represents a significant milestone in Pastafarian writing, we hope it will inspire a new breed of Pasta poets and Carbohydrate Inspired Writers.

For those headed to the Stripper Factory and Beer Volcano, this one is for you.
Praised Be To His Noodly Appendages (PBTHNA).
The Most Inspired
DaveL
*****
Random excerpts from The Loose Canon:
1 Your most humble servant, that I
2 Might become a waiter on high
3 Serving your immutable word
4 To diners.
5 I wear white today, that I
6 Might be graced by the slight magenta hues
7 Of pureed tomato, with basil, and garlic
8 As between bites I spill your blessed sauceliness
9 Upon my blouse.
10 Another helping, please, that I
11 Might munch gratefully
12 In abject reverence
13 For two eternities.
-Pastalm 17

I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Thou shalt have no other monsters before Me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.) The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Me! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization.
-Suggestions 1:1

It is easier for a meatball to pass through the eye of a tornado than for a confused man to enter the Kingdom of Pasta.
-ProvHerbs 3:40

“Since you have done a half-ass job, you will receive half an ass!” The Great Pirate Solomon grabbed his ceremonial scimitar and struck his remaining donkey, cleaving it in two.
-Slackers 1:51-52

Thou shalt share, that none may seek without finding.
-Suggestions 1:7